Day 52: The Bielefeld Conspiracy
At dinner in a youth hostel in Lindau, on a class trip to Lake Constance, Marlon (A) makes the old joke that Bielefeld doesn't exist, yet again, to his classmate Ronja (B), who comes from there.
How to study this lesson 3 steps
- Read the situation under the title. It says who is talking and how they know each other, which decides how politely they speak.
- Read the dialogue line by line with its translation, until every line makes sense. Point at (or tap) a German word to see what it means.
- Spend at least 30 minutes listening to native German, for example from the Resources page. It doesn't matter if you don't understand it yet.
Dialogue
Audio recordings are on the way. For now, each lesson is the dialogue with its English translation.
Keys: E hide English · ← → previous / next day · point at a word to see its meaning
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A
Ronja, du stocherst so traurig in deinem Pudding herum. Heimweh nach einer Stadt, die gar nicht existiert?
Ronja, you're poking at your pudding so sadly. Homesick for a city that doesn't even exist?
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B
Den Witz bekomme ich seit der fünften Klasse jede Woche erzählt. Vielleicht wird er ja beim hundertsten Mal lustig.
I've had that joke told to me every week since I was ten. Maybe it'll get funny the hundredth time.
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A
Das ist kein Witz, sondern eine Theorie. Kennst du wen aus Bielefeld, warst du schon mal da, kennst du wen, der schon mal da war?
It's not a joke, it's a theory. Do you know anyone from Bielefeld, have you ever been there, do you know anyone who's ever been there?
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B
Ja, ja und ja. Aber genau das würde natürlich auch jemand sagen, den die Verschwörung geschickt hat.
Yes, yes and yes. But of course that's exactly what someone sent by the conspiracy would say too.
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A
Du gibst es also zu! Dann will ich Beweise, aber keine Postkarte von der Sparrenburg, so was macht heute jede KI.
So you admit it! Then I want proof, but not a postcard of the Sparrenburg castle: any AI can churn those out these days.
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B
Beweise bekommst du frei Haus geliefert. Man nehme also an, es gebe Bielefeld nicht: Dann lies mal, was auf deinem Puddingbecher steht.
You'll get your proof delivered right to your door. So let us suppose Bielefeld did not exist: now read what it says on your pudding pot.
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A
„Bielefeld“, na und? Das beweist gar nichts, die Fabrik steht bestimmt in Nevada, neben der Area 51.
'Bielefeld', so what? That proves nothing, the factory's bound to be in Nevada, next to Area 51.
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B
Die Stadt hat 2019 eine Million für den Beweis geboten, dass es sie nicht gibt. Gewonnen hat keiner, die Million gibt's nämlich auch nicht.
In 2019 the city offered a million for proof that it doesn't exist. Nobody won, because the million doesn't exist either, you see.
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A
Moment, jetzt bin ich verwirrt. Glaubst du das etwa selbst, oder veräppelst du mich gerade?
Hang on, now I'm confused. Do you actually believe that yourself, or are you having me on?
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B
Das darf ich dir nicht sagen, es sei denn, du warst schon mal in Bielefeld. Es lebe die Verschwörung, und iss deinen Pudding, bevor er auch verschwindet.
I'm not allowed to tell you, unless you've been to Bielefeld. Long live the conspiracy, and eat your pudding before it disappears too.
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